Santa, no!

It’s just after midnight—Christmas Eve has officially turned into Christmas Day. Santa is running a bit behind schedule after one of the reindeer took an unreasonably long bathroom break (looking at you, Vixen). So now, Santa’s in a rush.

His belly, full of cookies and milk, is slowing him down. His 1,680-year-old heart is working tirelessly to keep him upright as he powers through his rounds. After visiting an astounding 2 billion homes worldwide—1 billion of which served him his favorite: warm cookies with milk—Santa begins to feel the strain.

Here’s the problem: Santa consumed roughly 2 billion cookies (two per household) and downed  500,000 gallons of milk. That’s a recipe for disaster. Now Vixen and Santa are both having stomach troubles

At Santa’s final stop of the night, he drops off the last presents, but something feels off. A cold sweat breaks out. His head spins. The strain of 2 billion sugar bombs hits him all at once. Desperately, Santa lays down on the hardwood floor for a moment of relief.

Fast forward to Christmas morning. A young boy races downstairs, full of excitement, only to find Santa face-down, motionless, surrounded by a tragic sea of cookie crumbs.

“Santa, no!” the boy cries, his holiday joy shattered.

Tragic, I know. So, where did it all go wrong?

We all love Ol’ Saint Nick’s kind and generous heart, but his actual heart couldn’t handle the monumental sugar, fat, and calories he consumed at each house. If only he had paced himself—maybe indulging in a few select treats along his route—he could have enjoyed the festivities while still looking after his health.

And that’s the lesson here. This Christmas, be merry and indulge a little. Treat yourself to a cookie or two. But don’t forget to mix in some healthier alternatives. Your body—and your future self—will thank you for it. After all, the greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday season is your health.

So, grab some holiday cheer, a veggie tray (yes, really), and let’s celebrate a balanced, happy, and healthy Christmas.

Don’t Make grandma cry on thanksgiving

It’s 3 PM—an odd time to be gathered around the dinner table. There’s more food than you can imagine eating in one sitting, and all your relatives are asking why you’re still single. Is this a weird dream? Not quite—it’s Thanksgiving. The turkey, stuffing, dinner rolls, and Aunt Carol’s “secret recipe” casserole are all present, though you secretly wish you could ban the casserole if only you knew what the secret ingredient was. You don’t have the heart to say so, though, so you just eat around it. Anyway, Grandma made pie, and you love her pies. But this year, you tell her you can’t have any because you’re dieting. You see a part of her soul crumble as she watches you eat a rice cake instead. It’s a sad scene.

Instead of breaking Grandma’s heart, let’s approach this differently. Yes, you have a fat loss goal, and no, pie isn’t part of your meal plan. But what is food made of, really? Calories—the dreaded "C" word. To stick to your diet, you might avoid sweets, skip the fatty cuts of meat, drink water, and measure out exactly four ounces of turkey breast with your trusty food scale (which doubles as your Thanksgiving dinner date). Congratulations—you’ve ruined everyone’s Thanksgiving and made Grandma cry.

Now, what if you realized that one day won’t derail your big-picture goals? Let’s say that, for one day, you don’t make progress—or maybe you even gain a little weight from your indulgence. Would that ruin everything? Absolutely not. Think of it like a road trip. If your parents suggest stopping by Grandma’s house for a day, but you’re so focused on reaching your destination that you refuse, Grandma ends up sitting home alone. Is it worth it? Of course not.

So, make Grandma happy. Unwind, be cheerful, and have some pie. Enjoy the day with family and good food. Your diet will still be there tomorrow, and one day of joy won’t sabotage your efforts. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Calorie counting: understanding “expensive” foods

But Andre, do I have to count calories?” insert sniffling crying noises Okay, maybe I should be nicer, but this is how my clients sound when they don’t want to track their caloric intake. But is there any other way? Maybe, sure. But humor me this.

Let’s pretend you’re at the mall, and you have a hankering for new shoes. You get to the store, find a pair you like, and go to the cash register. There’s only one problem: you don’t know how much the shoes cost, nor do you know how much money you have in your bank account. The cashier swipes your card, and you hear a loud buzzer noise. You’ve been declined. As embarrassing as this is, this is precisely what we do when we eat food without accounting for the calories and without knowing our own caloric needs. How could that end up in a good result? No wonder a significant percentage of Americans are overweight or obese. Sure, at its crux, it’s a consumption problem, but it’s also a budgeting issue.

We all have a caloric number we need to maintain our weight, and another number to lose weight. So when you’re trying to maintain or even lose weight, you need to know those metrics. And if the food you’re consuming doesn’t have a calorie number attached to it, how will you know if you’re going over budget?

“Well Andre, can’t I just avoid bad foods?” Sure, but what is a "bad food"? I prefer to say some foods are just expensive. Let’s pretend it’s payday, and you get $800. You’re about to do some shopping. You need new socks, dinner for your family, and a new necklace for your Mom. With your $800, you could go to a department store and get a pair of socks for $4.99, but you prefer the finer things. You choose to go to the fancy section of the mall and buy Gucci socks because it’s been a long week and you deserve them. These socks are $799. um, Do they make you fly? Why are these socks so expensive? Well, you’re in the store already, the socks feel so soft and luxurious, so you buy them anyway. Now, with your new socks in hand, you have a single dollar left from your paycheck. The family dinner will now be a pack of ramen noodles, and Momma isn’t getting her gift.

So, let’s reflect. Where did it all go wrong? Were the socks evil? No. Were they malevolent? No. They are just socks. The socks were just too expensive for your budget. So now you have to skimp out on other purchases or overdraft your bank account. The real-life food comparison is if you have a 1200 calorie daily limit, and for breakfast, you treat yourself to a muffin and a mocha latte frappuccino with sprinkles and fairy dust. Yum. This delightful breakfast is 1100 calories. Now what? For the rest of the day, you can only eat 100 calories. All you can do is lick an apple and scream, otherwise, you’ll go over your calories for the day. All because of one meal decision. Now, was your breakfast “bad,” evil, or malevolent? Just like the socks were just expensive socks, this was literally just a muffin and frappuccino. But it was just too expensive for your caloric budget. So your choices are to either lick the apple and suffer, or eat more and go into caloric overdraft, aka, fat gain.

In conclusion, we do not have a bad food problem. We have a budgeting problem. Count your calories, plan your meals, and let’s keep our bank accounts and body fat percentages healthy.

Call to Action:

Ready to take control of your fitness journey? Whether you’re looking to lose fat, build muscle, or simply maintain a healthy lifestyle, I’m here to help. Contact me today for personalized fitness coaching and meal planning tailored to your unique needs. Let’s achieve your goals together!

From Doughnuts to Dumbbells: My Transformation Journey

Life's funny. One moment you're walking home from the dollar store, ready to tear into a box of Entenmann's donuts. You can just imagine every sweet morsel going down. Maybe I'll wash it down with milk. Sure, it won't help with my growing waistline, and no, teenage boys aren't supposed to be growing man boobs this large during puberty, but dammit, it makes me feel good in the moment.

The Struggle

Hopeless. That's what I was. A teenage boy with an overweight frame, large enough breasts to make a pre-teen girl jealous. They'd jiggle as I went up and down the steps of my junior high school. Many students suggested I wear a bra; I opted to ride the elevator. The pain of being socially outcast was tough, to say the least. But I always knew I had something at home that’d cheer me up.

Doughnuts. Yes, doughnuts. Chocolate frosted, Boston crème, and the ones with sprinkles on top. Perhaps my first love. My overweight adolescent frame was full of them. I’d go home, slump into my room, and break into my secret stash of doughnut holes. Weeks prior, I had discovered the greatness of the dollar store—all the heart-stopping snacks a kid could ask for, all for a reasonable price. I’d stuff the doughnuts in my mouth, the sugar coursing down my throat into my bloodstream. My pains and anxieties were momentarily silenced as I continued to devour the sweets. My pancreas desperately tried to produce enough insulin to prevent me from going into diabetic shock. Thankfully, I never did, but I sure gave it a run for its money.

The Turning Point

But then something changed. Maybe it was being rejected by the girl I liked, maybe it was watching my mother being buried six feet into the earth. Her health issues, which had been a significant part of our lives, also played a crucial role in my transformation. Seeing her struggle with her health motivated me to prioritize my own. Either way, I was quickly shoved in a better direction and a new love was discovered.


- Chest press
- Bicep curl
- Sit-ups
- Push-ups

Fitness. Thankfully, I had eventually found a new love. NEWSFLASH: everything that you love may not be a good thing. The doughnuts had led me astray. Made me a social pariah among my peers, stretched my belly beyond its limits, and not to mention the 40 bucks a month it was stealing from my bank account. It was time for a change.

The Transformation

The newly found muscle mass and body strength at times feel overshadowed by the stretch marks and loose skin. A humbling reminder of where I've been, how far I've come and where I do not want to go back to. The doughnuts had done irreversible damage. Unfortunately, doughnuts are a social food. Friends say, "Just have one, what's the harm?" They obviously don’t know our history.

The Mission

From hopeless to now helping others get out of their own hopelessness to become their best fit selves. It’s a story I couldn’t have even written myself, but I'm living it. The kid on the left was scared, broken, and miserable. The man on the right is glued back together and on a mission to help anyone who feels the same because change is possible and it’s in reach.

My goal and purpose are to touch every person who feels stuck, frustrated, and not good enough. No, I cannot magically change your fitness circumstance, but I can give you the map. And I promise you, if you go on this journey with me, you'll reach the destination of being your best self.

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I’m André Piquion, personal trainer and owner of PEAQ Wellness. Helping people is my passion, and I’m excited to connect with anyone who may be reading this. Follow my journey, which I hope inspires you to start your own; and join me as I help others achieve their fitness goals.

Contact me at www.peaqwellness.net to start your transformation today!