Santa, no!
It’s just after midnight—Christmas Eve has officially turned into Christmas Day. Santa is running a bit behind schedule after one of the reindeer took an unreasonably long bathroom break (looking at you, Vixen). So now, Santa’s in a rush.
His belly, full of cookies and milk, is slowing him down. His 1,680-year-old heart is working tirelessly to keep him upright as he powers through his rounds. After visiting an astounding 2 billion homes worldwide—1 billion of which served him his favorite: warm cookies with milk—Santa begins to feel the strain.
Here’s the problem: Santa consumed roughly 2 billion cookies (two per household) and downed 500,000 gallons of milk. That’s a recipe for disaster. Now Vixen and Santa are both having stomach troubles
At Santa’s final stop of the night, he drops off the last presents, but something feels off. A cold sweat breaks out. His head spins. The strain of 2 billion sugar bombs hits him all at once. Desperately, Santa lays down on the hardwood floor for a moment of relief.
Fast forward to Christmas morning. A young boy races downstairs, full of excitement, only to find Santa face-down, motionless, surrounded by a tragic sea of cookie crumbs.
“Santa, no!” the boy cries, his holiday joy shattered.
Tragic, I know. So, where did it all go wrong?
We all love Ol’ Saint Nick’s kind and generous heart, but his actual heart couldn’t handle the monumental sugar, fat, and calories he consumed at each house. If only he had paced himself—maybe indulging in a few select treats along his route—he could have enjoyed the festivities while still looking after his health.
And that’s the lesson here. This Christmas, be merry and indulge a little. Treat yourself to a cookie or two. But don’t forget to mix in some healthier alternatives. Your body—and your future self—will thank you for it. After all, the greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday season is your health.
So, grab some holiday cheer, a veggie tray (yes, really), and let’s celebrate a balanced, happy, and healthy Christmas.
